Tough Love

When I was a kid, I was made fun of for being fat. At the same time that was happening, Sally was being made fun of because she had buck teeth, Ini was made fun of because he was the only black person in my Catholic school, Joey was made fun of because of the mole on his chin and Claire was made fun of for not wearing makeup.  Some people said some awful things to me and those other people growing up, and I'm sure there were specific kids who were more relentless than others, but I don't think I would call what they did "bullying". Let's face it, elementary and middle school is a time when kids are just mean to each other. They don't understand how what they say can affect other people in negative ways. Even as a high schooler we are being taught to cry "bully" anytime someone is mean to us. Babying kids at the elementary and middle school levels doesn't allow them to learn and grow from these experiences. Maybe back then what other people said to me hurt, but I wouldn't go back and change any of it. I learned to stand up for myself. (Even if that meant getting a behavior card for pushing Nick down at recess!) I learned to be strong and handle my own problems. I learned to bounce back and not let people get me down. I learned to not find my self worth in other peoples' opinions about me. I just grew up. If I had of been taught back then to report someone being mean to me every time it happened like kids are taught to now, it would have taken me a lot longer to learn any of those lessons. I'm not saying bullying is acceptable and shouldn't be reported, but there is a difference between being mean and being a bully. Of course, I believe if a student is being specifically picked on every day to an extent to which they no longer feel comfortable at the school (or wherever the location) then yes, action should probably be taken. But being mean to each other in the growing up years is just something that happens. Also, I liked the articles definition of what bullying actually was and what it entails: a power imbalance. I think the power imbalance is key because it sets a better picture of bullying versus friends teasing each other. Growing up is difficult and unfortunately teasing and being mean to each is just part of it. That doesn't mean we should call everything "bullying".

This article also made me realize I'm much more of a "tough love" type person. I'm gonna feel sorry for my kids when I'm older.